I'M BA-ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I was gone so long.
I was being held captive in the chapel attic of Jellybellyfelly, Scotianesh along with my friend and mafia conrade, Commander Joe Bob Ham Ham. But perhaps I shouldn't have told u that.
Whoops.
Well, I might as well tell u the rest.
I'll have 2 kill u n e way.
Teehee!
Well, the bad nuns were keeping us captive.
Yes.
The bad nuns.
Yes.
At first I couldn't understand what the big burly guard nuns were saying, but then i found the Commanders language translater.
Here is the most INTERESTING conversation I heard

Warning: The following information is Rated X. This information may rape, assualt, or even kill you with water bottles. And that's a slow death...
Teehee!


Nun #1: I have a rash
Nun #2: Really?
Nun #1: Yes. It is turquoise. Yes. Turquoise.
Nun #2: Turquoise?
Nun #1: I have to scrub it every day with blue cheese
Nun #2: Oh I see. It is... Its is from the candlesticks?
*dramatic music plays
Nun #1: Yes. The candlesticks.
*dramatic music plays*
Nun #2: U realize every time we say... that... dramatic music plays?\
Nun #1: Really? That was dramatic music? I thought it was my wenus.
Nun #2: Your what?
Nun #1: My wenus. You know. That little bone on your elbow.
Nun #2: Oh that.
*silence while crickets frolic in the meadows because they have gotten bored of chirping and have decided to frolic in the meadows*
Nun #2: Do you want to get a tofu-kabob?
Nun #1: *gasps* YOU ARE A HIPPIE???!!! *beats Nun #2 up*

We then used this diversion to escape.
Yes.
Well, I will be hoping to update more often now.
Yes.
But for now, may the llamas be with you senior
Yes
-Noodles

Icky

Yes.

Icky.
This is how I feel today.
Icky.
I am recovering from the flu.
Yes.
The flu.
The flu is icky.
It makes you all disgusting and hurting all over like an arthritic old person.
I don't like feeling like an arthritic old person.
It is icky.
Yes.
Icky.
Yes.
So, with all of the swine flu talk and us having a Mexican pig on the farm that runs around screaming, "Tu tienes mi gato!" (I don't have a picture of him now, but here is his baby picture:
), the humans all panicked and sent me far away to a veterinarian or something, but I escaped with my awesome kung kwate (a mix of kung fu, tae kwon do, and karate) I looked sort of like this right before I attacked. The little dude didn't see it coming. Yes:


Now I am back. And dangerous. Weeeee.
Have a nice day.

P.S. I have noticed that some of you don't know that the posts go from bottom to top like blogs do. Well now you know. Goodbye.

Hello

Hello.
So.
I thought I'd make a blog post about absolutely nothing.
Yes.
Nothing.
Oh.
Yeah.
I am starring in a movie.
Reaper Stalkers Incorporated
My friend Krazy is in it too.
Yes.
It is an awesome movie about people who stalk and kill other people.
Yes.
How lovely.
Yes.
So.
I like potatoes
Yes.
My mother (who supposedly died in a car crash mysteriously *evil grin*) loved baked potatoes.
Yes.
She thought they were crunchy.
Yes.
Almost as crunchy as her fingers.
Yes.
I say yes a lot, don't I?
Yes.
Lke in the movie Yes Man
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
I'm done.
Yes.
I am writing this from a school.
I have possessed a student there.
Yes.
In her body, I will quietly massacre her unsuspecting classmates.
Yes.
I will deep fry their fingers.
Yes.
And eat them.
Yes.
Good bye now.
Yes.

Interview with Krazy

Hello my friends.
Or should I say...
My victims...
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA




Okay, I'm done.
Well, today, I am going to interview my llama friend Krazy, who really is krazy.
Yes,
Krazy.
She/He will write in blue.
Yes.
Blue.
Ba-loo.
Yes.
Blue.
Got it?
Good.
Yes.
Blue.
Okay.
I'm done.
Blue.

1) Q) What is your favorite food?
A) Deep fried sea cucumbers. With a side of their expelled organs. Did you know that they expel their organs when they are threatened? So, I go under the sea to threaten them with my reaper stalker boyfriend's reaper tool.
Yes. How wonderfully satisfying. Yes. *goes to find this reaper tool to use for secret plans mentioned in previous post*

2) Q) What do you like to do in your spare time?
A) I don't have spare time. Unless you consider expelling organs from innocent sea cucumbers when they don't bring me my lattes spare time. If so then, yes. I do have free time.
Yes. How wonderful. *has a sudden craving for sea cucumbers and lattes and starts abnormally salivating on floor*
*stares at Noodles before licking saliva up* Mmm... Your saliva tastes like chicken..
How... Nice... For you... Umm... *goes to sit on lamp*

3) Q) Who is your role model?
A) Stinkie Winkie from Teletypewriters.'
Don't you mean Tinkie Winkie from Teletubbies?
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Okay then... *sits on two lamps at the same time before they explode leaving a big hole in Noodles' bussums*Ow...

4) Q) What is your favorite food? Wait. Scratch that. Ugh. Can't think of any question. Oh. Right. What question should I ask next?
What is my favorite type of foot?
Deep fried...

5)Q) What is your favorite type of foot?
Duck. Marfinated. I mean marinated. With potato sauce. Yes.

Well, this wraps up our interview! Goodbye! And eat your sea cucumbers and duck feet!

My Day

Hello.
Today, I have taken my llama meds that they secretly put in my water while I sleep.
By they, I mean the people who live in the shed behind my home.
There is a man with a gray beard that really needs to shave and a lady that is so fat, she can't fit into any clothes.
She doesn't come out of the house because of that.
How would I know that?
I have cameras installed in the shed they call a house.
I am always watching them.
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
And even...
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
I MADE A BUG PYRAMID!!!
*crickets start chirping before I stab them in their puny chests and deep fry their legs before eating them to satisfy my rumblies*
Well, where was I?
Ah.
Yes.
I am watching you, too.
I have cameras installed in your house and wherever you go.
I am always watching you.
I bet you're looking around now
You're thinking whether or not to click out of this window because I scare you.
But you just can't do it.
That is because I have sent my aliens (Yes, I have aliens. I got them to work for me by stabbing their leader in the chest 37 times and deep frying his 9 hands. Yes.) to abduct you and make you want to read this blog post to the very end.
Yes.
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
ANOTHER BUG PYRAMID!!!
Yes, well, now, about my day.
Today, I finally took the meds that they (You know who they are by now. If you don't, you are very retardedand I may need to refer you for psychiatric help.) put in my water.
Yes.
This makes me not as willing to kill living beings and deep fry their hands before eating them to satisfy my rumblies.
Yes.
This means tht all I have been doing today is scheming up evil plans of how to kidnap the prime minister of Scotavianesh and deep fry his hands and eat them to satisfy my rumblies.
Yes.
Do you know how I can do this?
If so, comment on this post and give me your advice!
Come on, don't be shy!
I may even give you the prime minister's thumb after I kidnap him!
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
Oh, screw it!
Screw it all!
Just give me your HANDS!!!

Cheese Rant (Sort Of)

Okay. Well, today, since I have nothing better to do, I will rant about cheese.
Yes.
Cheese.
I like Cheese.
Lots of it.
Like, lots.
But I have already said that.
Oh god.
Now I am experiencing deja vu.
*weird creepy violin music starts playing in background*
What the flagnog?
Shut up!
*music continues*
I said SHUT UP!!!
*music continues*
*goes over to violinist and rips violin out of hand and starts hitting violinist in the head with it, stabs violinist in chest 37 times, rips hands off, deep fries them on grill that violinist was sitting on (weirdo), and eats said hands*
There.
That got him to shut up.
*you get up*
Wait!
*you start walking away slowly*
Where are you going!
*you start walking faster*
Don't go! I need your hands to satisfy my stomach rumblies!
*you run out of room, holding your hands in fear of them being used to satisfy my rumblies*
Oh, flagnog.
I didn't even get to rant to you about cheese.

Stuff About Me

So...
I haven't told you many things about me, have I?
Well, you can't say that any longer.
Here is a list of things about me:

1. My name is Noodles
2. I am a llama
3. A brown llama, that is
4. I was born in the United States, but I will not tell you where because I have enough online stalkers, thank you very much.
5. I like cheese
6. Lots of cheese
7. Like, lots
8. I like chocolate
9. Not vanilla
   
10. Chocolate
11. I don't like aplacas
12. I mean alpacas
13. They are bad
14. Very bad
15. They have a secret society
16. In that secret society they plan
17. They have evil plans
18. I have heard that they plan to take over the world
19. With spit
20. They'll spit on people's clothes
21. Those people won't be able to go out on Saturdays because their clothes will smell like alpacas
22. And believe me, alpacas don't smell good.
23. Then, the people's dates will get sad and they'll go on a rampage in which they will destroy all of the emo music CDs that are in the stores
24. That'll make the emo people kill themselves
25. That'll make every other human want to join in until every human has killed themself
26. Then, the alpacas will take over and smoke cigarettes until they are addicted and force themselves to quit and use nicotine patches.
27. At least, that's what I've heard.

Well, I think I've told you enough about me. How about telling me something about you? Edit your profile and comment on this post saying some stuff about you! I look forward to getting to know you and you're band of woolly banjo playing mammoths!

iStuff

Kays.
Well, here is some istuff (interactive stuff on the internet that you use to catch internet fish in) that I personally love and think you, as my fellow llama (You'd BETTER be my fellow llama! Here's what I think of those who aren't llamas: *stabs everyone who isn't a llama in the chest 37 times*), will love, too!

Kraziness





VISIT THEM!!! Or else...
You have been warned...

Intros

HELLO WORLD!!!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
THIS IS FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm done. Yeah.
Well, I'm Noodles!
In case you're a bit mentally challenged and haven't noticed, I'm a llama.
Yes.
A llama.
L-L-A-M-A.
And if you thought I was an alpaca, I may need to refer you for phsychiatric help.
Yes.
Well, hi.
Yeah.
.
^Look up there^
It's a bug
.......
There's more!
................
AH!!!
................................................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................................................................
................................................................................................................................................

It's a bug army!!!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
SAVE BOBBY!!!
SAVE HIM!!!
DO IT!!!
OR I WILL SPIT ON YOU LIKE THAT IDIOTIC ALPACA YOU THOUGHT I WAS!!!

Yeah...
Got a bit carried away there...
Yeah..
Well, I'm gonna go...
I think I need to see some animal psychologist like that donkey said i should before I stabbed him 37 times in the chest*.
Oops.
I wasn't supposed to tell you that.
Good bye and may the llamas be with you, senor


*No donkeys were hurt in the making of this blog post even if the writer said she did. Or he did. Whatever. My point is, don't go calling the ASPCA on us. Please. Thank you and may the llamas be with you, senor.